A Michigan researcher found, that after following 400 families for a quarter of a century, that when a man (husband) gets along with HIS in-laws, the likelihood the marriage will last increases 20 percent! The news is a little different, though, when it comes to a woman's relationships with HER in-laws. Because women tend to take things more personally including even well-intentioned advice having in-laws closely involved can actually reduce the likelihood a marriage will thrive. When a man bonds with his in-laws his wife gets the message that "your family is important to me because you're important to me. I want to be closer to you." Wives LOVE that and marriages get a longevity bump. But, when the wife feels close to HER in-laws, things go the other way. First, in-law ties are more stressful to women because it interferes with and takes time away from bonding with the husband and her own family. Women tend to analyze, work on and improve relationships. They think of in-law ties the same way. The other issue is emotional boundaries, something with which, women struggles. A woman takes whatever an in-laws says as very personal. It can be interpreted as meddling and interfering. Women need to set emotional boundaries with their in-laws and recognize that the relationship is not the same one you'd have with your own parents. Don't take things personally. The key to ANY relationship is RESPECT. You also have to treat yourself with respect. We all need to get along with our in-laws and realize that they are part of an eternal relationship.
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